i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
