The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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