Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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