remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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