The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
