She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
