is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
