Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
