tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
