it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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