So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
