He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
