Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
