my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
