I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
