She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
