You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
