we're blogging at a bar
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
