Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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