so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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