wrigley field is MILF paradise
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
