Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
