when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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