I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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