I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
