omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize