You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
