bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize