I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
