I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
