I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize