You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
