dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
