how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
