Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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