She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
