just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize