Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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