Im at strip club and am horny
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's shark week go big or go home
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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