I am puke
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
