And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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