I don't usually arrange sex via text message
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
this is an emotional support booty call
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
