No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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