physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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