Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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