I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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