Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
