I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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