i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
