no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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