kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
