BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
