You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
