Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
