your room smells of hookers.
And success
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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