im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
