you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Houston, we have a blender
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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