what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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