Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize