I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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