Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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