Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
