Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
