is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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