you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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