He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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