we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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