Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just google imaged poop.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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