I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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