I must be too annoying 4 u.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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