Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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